17 More Things About Me

Recently I happened to think that it is so fitting that this 17 year old migraine attack started in March. First, it’s one of my favorite times of the year with college basketball and the absolute craziness and excitement it brings! That provides a great distraction from it all at times. Another reason is that this is around the time of year I got extremely sick with spinal meningitis 34 years ago — I was not expected to live on that Palm Sunday. Soon after being sick (before I was even 2 years old), I started having migraine attacks, which were obviously episodic up until 17 years ago when it went chronic/constant.

I don’t remember much about when I was sick… I just know that I’ve been told by a few of the medical professionals that were involved and by my parents that it was truly a miracle I survived and survived without too many issues. One doctor I had years later said that by just reading my medical history involving all that happened with the meningitis and how sick I was, he would never imagine that the girl sitting in front of him was that same patient.

While I am extremely thankful that God healed my body from the meningitis, I was still left with some after effects. I know everything could have been a lot worse and I know things would be even more difficult with some of the other potential outcomes. For what I’m dealing with, I’m overflowing with gratitude, even in my darkest moments of pain when it can be most difficult to be grateful.

With these after effects, I have often struggled with my purpose and why I’m still here (especially on the days that I physically struggle just to get out of bed or if I didn’t even sleep the night before). Which often makes me think how different everyone’s life would have been if I was never around. Have I really had an impact on anyone or changed someone’s life that much? With the second chance at life I was given, I sure hope and pray that I’ve left more of a positive impact on anyone I’ve come into contact with than a negative one. I believe we are given several different purposes in life. I know I truly and completely found one of mine and sadly, I had to give it up when my health got worse. Which was crushing to my heart and my spirit. I also believe that sometimes our purpose at times is something small and doesn’t encompass all the grandeur and splendor we sometimes think has to come along with our purpose(s). It might just be that right now you encourage someone who really needs it, or that you are kind and loving to someone, or make someone laugh or that you are there for someone and help them in their time of need.

I’ve been struggling a lot since my world has become so small. When your chronic illness and pain isolate you so much from others, it can put you in a dark place that’s hard to get out of. It’s also difficult when you and/or your thoughts, ideas and opinions seem invisible to others and don’t get acknowledgement when you share something. So if I act overexcited or seem overbearing –which in all honesty, I mostly think I am overbearing, annoying and bothering anyone and everyone when being first to initiate contact– in my contact with you, it’s just that I am so grateful and elated that someone wants to share/spend their time with me and wants me to be an active part of their life. It doesn’t happen as often anymore. So, it means the world to me when it does happen. *Sorry if I’m not making much sense or seem to be all over the place, but that’s basically how my thoughts and feelings are most of the time!*

I’ve come up with 17 *more* things to share about me. So, enjoy reading!

1. I absolutely love memes! They can express so much with just a picture and a few words… It’s an introvert’s dream come true! Not to mention, most of them are hilarious… And we can all use more laughter in our lives! If I send you memes, it means that it made me think of you and/or I thought you’d find it funny as well.

2. I have an irrational fear of my phone battery getting too low. I start internally freaking out once mine gets down to 80%. I know it goes along with my overall anxiety, but want to be prepared if I get stuck somewhere needing my 100% charged phone!

3. My favorite soap (and soap smell) is the one that is used in hospitals and doctor’s offices. I get genuinely giddy over it. Think it might have to do with having to be at the doctor and specialists so often when I was younger. I saw all the doctors and medical professionals as people who were always helping me and I always felt at ease and comforted when around them. That smell brings all of that back. I loved my doctors when I was younger, so it always brings good memories to my mind, even though I was seeing them for tough issues.

4. My favorite soda is Dr Pepper.

5. Always have to put chap-stick on my mouth and lotion on my hands right before going to bed. Otherwise, all I will be thinking of is how much my lips hurt because they are dry & chapped and how much my hands hurt because of how dry & itchy they are at the moment. Weird, yes, I know.

6. My favorite pizza toppings are pepperoni and green peppers.

7. I have a strong affinity for comfy & cozy socks, robes and pajamas.

8. Pumpkin and key lime are my favorite kinds of pie.

9. Growing up I always wanted red hair and green eyes. I didn’t appreciate that my eyes and hair were exactly the same color… Boring chocolate brown. They’ve grown on me over the years.

*Side note: Why is it so difficult to think of random facts about myself?!*

10. Chocolate and caffeine sometimes take the edge off my pain, which is never below an 8 on the 10 point scale.

11. One of my favorite smells is fresh, crisp, clean sheets and blankets.

12. Speaking of smells, I have to use basically all fragrance free or unscented things now. (There are a very few exceptions, I’ve found, but only because the scent is very light. On my bad days, even the lightly scented things cannot be used.) My head and nose have become so highly sensitive to smells that I get nauseous and/or my pain skyrockets well past a 10 extremely fast.

13. In college, I had a friend mistake my handwriting for a computer font. It was quickly named the Tissa Font by several other friends. Tissa was a nickname some friends gave me in college.

14. My affinity for sharpies and post-its still remains. My college days were filled with them.

15. I’m a big bookworm and have always loved to read. (I can still spend hours in a bookstore or library.) I can’t do much reading if it’s much more than an article, devotion, or passages of the Bible because of my head. It takes me so long to finish a book nowadays. What used to take me anywhere from a week to three weeks to read, can now take me six months or more. It hurts that I can’t read like I used to. Used to get in trouble when I was little when I was supposed to be cleaning my room or doing some other chores and I would be caught reading. My parents would take the book away and then I’d just find another one!

16. I eat (and crave) soup all year round. It’s a huge comfort food for me. Add a grilled cheese and I will be so happy!

17. I’ve been an aunt for almost a year now! My younger brother and sister-in-law have twins… A boy and a girl. They are such a joy and a delight to us all! Don’t get to see any of them as much as I’d like, but I’m so thankful and blessed to be a small part of their beautiful, wonderful family. Love you all always!!