Tag: Holding on

Every day of June there has been a different prompt for blog writers to spur on awareness for Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. I have been sharing in other ways with articles and different facts each day. I haven’t felt well enough to really be able to think things through to write a post. Even with the prompts.

So, here we are at Day 24. When I saw today’s prompt earlier this month, I really wanted to participate in this one.

The prompt today is: Watch the Wilson Phillips video below and write on: When it seems Migraine has dragged us into the pits of despair, changing our lives until we barely recognize ourselves, what do you do to hold on and keep fighting for your dream of better health?

First of all, I know that there are people out there who are a lot worse off than me. I know they have bigger struggles that they are facing. That life is difficult for them… there seems to be no hope. I’m not trying to diminish or dismiss that at all. I know it may seem to you that this isn’t a big struggle. But, it is to me. I’ve had to give up my job/career, my social life, my independence (financial & other wise), some of my dreams, etc. It’s hard and a huge change.

The last several weeks have been pretty tough for me. I’ve had a hard time finding a reason to want to hold on one more day. (No, I’m not suicidal) I’ve had to be in my dark room, in the bed, not watching TV or looking at my computer or my phone. The lights from the electronics (and outside when it hasn’t been cloudy/rainy) have made the pain and all the other symptoms worse. Many times the pain medicine I took didn’t take the edge off and didn’t help me sleep. Sleep is the only time there is relief from pain, nausea, dizziness, etc. Some nights came with no sleep and it continued well into the next day. Now, not getting enough sleep is a trigger for me. But, the pain and other symptoms that come with Migraine can keep me from sleeping. So then it just keeps piling up until there’s no way to function anymore. Of course there were times where I just bit the bullet to watch TV or get on the computer, because I literally was going crazy from not sleeping, the pain and other symptoms, etc.  I’ve lost some weight (which is pretty significant for me… I’m someone who doesn’t need to lose any) because of how bad I’ve felt and not being hungry or just too nauseous or the fact that I feel too bad to even make the effort.

In these moments, it’s extremely hard to want to hold on. It’s hard to even see that maybe tomorrow will be a little better than today. It’s hard to be encouraged. It’s hard to have hope.

So what do I do to hold on to keep fighting?

-I have to be intent on finding ways to encourage myself. There isn’t a lot of encouragement coming from others. So, if I waited on anyone else to do something, I’d never be encouraged.

-I make it a point to find at least one thing that makes me laugh every day. That’s usually not a problem, I laugh pretty easily.

-I am a part of several groups online for Migraine & chronic pain (I also have chronic back & neck pain/problems) in which the people that are a part of them are proactive with each other in finding ways to improve our health. There are discussions, Q & As, encouragement to people when they talk about what a hard time they are having, suggestions. Some wonderful advocates for the Migraine community are involved in these groups as well. They provide some of the most up to date information on treatments, meds, etc. They are migraine sufferers as well, so they talk about their stories and what has or hasn’t helped them. They write wonderful articles about all things related to Migraine.

-I stay informed. Whether through these online groups or the articles that are written or other ways.

-I try my best to keep hope that something might come out in the future with the ever changing medical advances that will help me and others tremendously… OR someone will find a cure!

-I try to meet up with friends as much as I can. It doesn’t always work out, but I try. It makes my heart so happy to be with friends!

-Celebrating the little victories! Getting a shower, getting out of the house, meeting up with friends, taking no pain medicine, finding something to laugh about, writing a blog post, connecting with someone, etc.

-I try to encourage others as much as I can. I don’t do nearly as good a job of it as I did before my health got so bad. But, I’m trying. I know how hard it is to go through life and difficult times with out a lot of consistent encouragement from others, so I try and give what I’m not getting to others who might need it.

-Smile! I try to smile as much as possible. And smile at others!

-Remembering how awesome my parents are! They are so very loving & supportive and have always been my biggest advocates! I don’t know what I would do without them.

-Continue to strengthen my personal relationship with Christ. I haven’t been able to read the Bible as much as I used to because it’s really hard for me to read a lot now. Which makes me so sad. I love reading and I haven’t been able to do it with how bad the pain is, as well as the other symptoms that show up. It’s really odd what kind of symptoms I’ve started feeling (physically) or having when I try to read anything that isn’t pretty short or that I can’t skim. Some things you can skim, but there are other things you read that you just can’t skim or you miss so much. But, I am trying to find some creative ways to continue to cultivate my relationship with God. It’s not always easy… Sometimes it’s all I can do to just say a few words to Him in conversation. With the pain, etc. it can be extremely hard to concentrate on anything. And, I mean anything. More and more I am finding Him in the simplest of things.

-Gratitude. At some point during my day (or sometimes week), I try and think of and write down my blessings and what I am thankful for. No matter what I’m dealing with, there’s always something to be thankful for and there’s always some kind of blessing I’ve been given. Even the simplest of things.

Just know if you see me out and about, attending some event, at church, at work (1 day a week), etc., it’s taken me a lot to even make it there. And, if I seem happy, I am. It doesn’t mean I’m not in pain or feeling sick, but in that moment or period of time, I’m exactly what I seem.

There are probably several more things that I’m not thinking of right now of what I do to hold on. This is all I have for now…

“Hope is not pretending that troubles don’t exist. It is the hope that they won’t last forever. That hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome. That we will be led out of the darkness and into the sunshine.”

“Sometimes smiling is the greatest act of defiance, and sometimes asking for help is the most meaningful example of self-reliance. Sometimes the best medicine is to just laugh until you cry, and sometimes the greatest wisdom comes from accepting you will never know why. Sometimes just going to bed is the best antidote to trials and tribulations, and sometimes just being blessed to get up again and face it all for one more day, is worthy of celebration.”